argh tired!!! these 3 days have been sleeping in class and don't have any regard for my grades at all! hope my relations with faci can keep me at least a B..


haix thk i gotta use my 'eugene cold treatment' again.. i got a feeling this girl in class like me but as usual this heart is not open for visitors.. thk i will lose another close friend.. through this 2 years, I thk i have used this method towards 5 girls le.. why? because i'm not ready for another relationship other than being with you, wendy.


I seriously dont thk my standards are that low and there are girls who come after me.. but oh well.. its hard to win my heart, once you won me, i will never want to leave.. after how much beating i've taken from you this 2 years, you should know what i mean by, I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE. I don't think many ppl can take such things and still stay that long, like an idiot.


seriously speaking, you were my 1st gf and i didnt really understand how a relationship work. I thk i have expected too much to blind me from seeing really how much you've put in for us already.. this 2 years i've been looking and observing how it works.. thus the conclusion that, yes, its still you.


Yes i want you to be happy.. but on the other hand it pains me alot.. to see you in the arms of someone else.. i dont thk many ppl understand how I feel and i'm really dying a little every single day.. you dont know how you can make my day.. just as simple by asking me to do things for you.. yes, this dumb boy.


i value promises and its what i make to you. I have learned how to treat you right, to dote and make you the happiest girl.
always ready to prove to you, that yes.. I do cherish you.

RJ53 Lean Manufacturing and Six Sigma

What is the best and worse decision I have made?

In my life, I have made many decisions and a few individual decisions made a great impact in me. A scenario will be in a major competition, it was a critical day for myself and my team to win it big. I was all periapt up and ready for my competition the next day and I went to sleep. In the wee hours in the morning my aunt called my family saying that my grandma isn’t well and we should go over. I told my mum I have competition later on and will go visit her right after my competition and I went back to sleep. 1 hour later my mum text me to tell her that my grandma passed away, I was shocked and loss of words came to me.

The competition went on as usual but the day was raining. In the end my team won gold in our category but my heart was still heavy with my decision. My mum told me that grandma have been bedridden for 10years and her time was up, do not take it too hard. Until today, I still have doubts on myself if it was a right or a wrong decision to not make that trip.

Another worse decision I have made would be the breaking up with my 1^st and ex-girlfriend for 2 years. Due to her being too possessive, I ignored her and slowly we broke up. She got together with another person and I realized that it was something that I hoped for, only she did it too much. I had pursued back her for 2 years now and I am still trying hard. It was the worse decision I have ever made.

RJ53 Lean Manufacturing and Six Sigma

What is the best and worse decision I have made?

In my life, I have made many decisions and a few individual decisions made a great impact in me. A scenario will be in a major competition, it was a critical day for myself and my team to win it big. I was all periapt up and ready for my competition the next day and I went to sleep. In the wee hours in the morning my aunt called my family saying that my grandma isn’t well and we should go over. I told my mum I have competition later on and will go visit her right after my competition and I went back to sleep. 1 hour later my mum text me to tell her that my grandma passed away, I was shocked and loss of words came to me.

The competition went on as usual but the day was raining. In the end my team won gold in our category but my heart was still heavy with my decision. My mum told me that grandma have been bedridden for 10years and her time was up, do not take it too hard. Until today, I still have doubts on myself if it was a right or a wrong decision to not make that trip.

Another worse decision I have made would be the breaking up with my 1^st and ex-girlfriend for 2 years. Due to her being too possessive, I ignored her and slowly we broke up. She got together with another person and I realized that it was something that I hoped for, only she did it too much. I had pursued back her for 2 years now and I am still trying hard. It was the worse decision I have ever made.

haix... this few weeks seriously very vex.. totally have no mood to do things.. when my mood isnt good, my temper will start to kick in.. and no more easy going eugene.


school work is getting harder by the week and I'm quite struggling to keep my head above the water. the worse thing is that I do not have the motivation but even worse, don't even feel like doing.. I deserve the Cs that i'm getting now although I have never got this much Cs in my life!


I would say that mental tiredness is more tiring and painful than physical tiredness. For HFE class the night before I only slept 3 hours and is super tired physically. But something boosted my energy level and I pushed through the whole day.. even solo-ing most of the days thing like ws n ppt..

next is OP2 lesson on friday. I slept 4hour yet the whole day i'm tired and no motivation to do work.. slack the whole freaking day. think i will be getting another C? Yes i'm capable of far greater results and may one day make it big.. I only require that motivation. No wonder they say 'there is a great woman behind a successful man.'


anyways I thk what derick said make sense.. although he is the famous YLK(y-li-king).
he said if she is not doing what she's doing now, will you like her?
I can only wait and give you the best I can. I have already waited for 2 years, why cant i just shutup and wait?
yes its painful, but i do not think i have a choice.


I do not choose easily, once chosen I do not let go easily. remember: there is always this factor which you have, and no one else will ever have. its what attracts me most, to you.

*your guardian angel*
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11/11/10 Reflection Journal

Describe a situation or occasion which you have lost control in. Explain how you dealt with it.

In life, I pretty much know what I want and how much I am willing to give to achieve my goals. The only two occasions that I really felt that I’ve lost control was the passing of my grandmother and my 1^st breakup.

My grandma and I were pretty close from birth as I have both parents in the working class and do not really have time for me. My grandma had been bedridden for 10years through a stroke when I was primary 2 and that lasted for a full 10years. As the days went by, I have accepted the fact that she was unable to lead a normal life like before but was still able to communicate with me and I do see her every week. Until 2 years ago when I was in ITE, it was the 31^st of August 2008. I was having a major archery competition which spans the Saturday and Sunday. I did not do that well on Saturday and plan to have a good night’s rest and do better tomorrow. It was on that night at 4am, my family received a call from my aunty who look after my grandma saying that she is afraid that my grandma cannot pull through and ask all of us to go back.

My mum came in to call me up and I actually told her that I am having a competition in 2 hours time and I need this time to sleep and I will visit her right after my competition, so I went back to sleep. At 5.05am, my mum send me an sms saying that grandma passed away.

After reading that sms, I sat up and stunned with tears rolling down thinking that I didn’t see my grandmother for the last time. Words cannot express how I felt then. I continued and went for my competition. The whole day it was drizzling and it’s how I was feeling. I delivered and won a gold medal for my team before rushing down to her wake. I showed my mum the medal and she said, is this medal worth it? Even your grandma is watching over you. Words cannot describe how I felt that moment. Only tears did.

I know whatever happened cannot be changed. The thing I can do now is to work hard and not let her down.

don't MAKE me hate you


*yes its not about hating, but its about MAKING me to do it*

wa fuck.. after testing my metal bow case lock for like an hour? den i found out the code is freaking simple.

the right side was usually 481, her block.. left side 1 i tot shld be mine.. test so many times wont work. i test 157, 198, 187, 335, 962 bus, my house unit 572, my car plate number 206, my postal code 640 and is going through all the 999 combination alr starting from 000.

suddenly something struck my mind. 080607. 867.
tuck! open. i'm like -_-!!