hmm let me see.. i thk the point of e post i have said be4... n quite afew times i guess.


anyways finally had a meal with ma n pa ytd fish head curry my favourite from my place here...cox good friday no meat. so was talking about my results... yea i can do well better i agree. n i will.


and ma keep asking me to go back to church... i thk i havent go for like 1yr already? totally lost e motivation for almost everything.. including studies.


although i didnt tell ma, but yes i did make a 'deal' with god. yes i know its wrong, but thr aint other ways. i said i will go back n even offer my services to church if god helped me this once... show me the way back 'home'. after 1yr, it still didnt. i dono what are his plans, but i do mean my word. or until he tells me something else. and yes, i do trust in him.


but anyways, i seriously do see no future carrying on like this alr. 1yr i've been here, done everything i possibly could. hurting myself in the process mentally, physically and monetary wise. i've seen alot in this 1yr but i still hold my 1st judgment that this girl totally fits my requirements.


although i've said this before, that i'll wait till my 21st birthday n hope she'll step with me through this milestone. it is real soon and in 17 days. i guess this is it. but seriously i do not wish it. i really wish to push back my 21st to as long as it takes. but i cant.


i guess i'll wish u well than. hope god will be with you and you will be at the very center of my prayers every night. giving u strength and motivation in your daily life, objectives and milestone. to lift u on his shoulders when you are in dire times.

i cant be there, but i pray he'll keep you in his arms.

amen.