hmm back date abit.. anyways this is complain blog... yea last friday wendy's bf called me to scold me. cox of some unhappiness between me n wendy. ok i listen because i understand and agree on his stand... becox of 1 word, bastard.


the archery ppl always see how she've treated me, although i've put in great deal of effort to talk to her, help her n stuff... like taken for granted. elwin always tell me, wa wendy bastard u like this, why u still bother about her? i got 1 answer only, i dono. as the heart takes over from e logical brain of mine.


i always say i'm used to it le, i'm used to it le... but actually, inside totally not used to it. it still hurts like the very first time, everytime. sacrificing myself for her sake.


mostly in vain.


today, i have done another thing totally against my will again... becox my logical brain aint taking the lead again. spent money to buy something which i have to stick with for another like wat? 2yrs? its like 500bucks... spend it just like this, which doesnt suit be best...

yes it is my choice, but can let me talk it out, release stress?


i wanted to get a new 1 which is 200 more ex... but it looks so nice... and its new, which specs oso suit me best... that is the logical me. but the emotional me, i'll do stupid things without even a second thought. once i feel its worth it. wait, actually i dont.

i will sacrifice myself to help u. infront of me, where i can see the real u, i cant bear to see u sad or disappointed. how cold my heart can be, it wont be.


haix i dono... i'm really losing touch on wendy n mr lim. so be it ba... he dowan such a student like me, i have nth to say.


i have always a strong attitude.. things don go my way or thing i dont care about, i will totally ignore it... like my dad and aunt. ignored by me. for 18years undefeated. now i'm getting the retribution. same treatment by the person i care about most. wendy.


somethings are totally out of my control and i cant change it. the only solution is to do the best i can in it.